Singing

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My darling daughter’s Ukrainian orphanage had a piano. Even though I never saw the piano being used, it quickly became obvious that it was frequently used. Natasha sang all the time.

I asked my translator about one song. It was a children’s song (in Ukrainian) that sounded similiar to the “Jack and Jill went up the hill”.

Natasha has been home for 5 years now and she sings all the time. She made up her own lyrics and sings them to me. When she was 5 years old she made up the following song.

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti
I love Spaghetti.
Mom drives the car slow.

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She stops.
I want Spaghetti.

You probably can guess that she was hungry and we were in a car.

About 6 months ago the singing stopped. She didn’t sing while she worked or in the car or in the bathtub. I got worried and did what any good parent does.

I interrogated my daughter. Natasha told me that several girls in the after school program made fun of her. These other children told her that her voice was “ugly”.

I had the classic reaction. “Natasha those kids don’t know what they are talking about. Your singing is great.”

Natasha didn’t believe me.

So I put her into church choir. We had tried choir years ago without success because of her SID. She was overwhelmed by the noise. She couldn’t filter out any noises and focus just on the instructor. It was a frustrating and scary experience for my darling.

But therapy + time = try choir again

So Natasha has been practicing with her choir (about 20 kids) every Wednesday night and having a great time. She started singing at home again and making up new lyrics. Her songs are like:

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I looooooooooove you.
You looooooooooove me.
The sky is bright and we are dancing.
Never say never to loooooove.

So last Wednesday was the final practice session for Easter Sunday. For the first time Natasha was going to stand in front of a huge crowd (hundreds and hundreds) and sing with her choir.

Friday night she had a meltdown at bedtime. She cried and cried that her singing was awful and no one liked her singing. And the girls said it was awful.

I interrupted her crying and told her that I thought her singing was good. Her choir teacher thought her singing was good. And she was going to sing on Sunday. Everything would be OK.

Quick sidebar: I love the way Natasha cries. I had encouraged her in her crying habits from day one. She talks about her feelings as she cried.

It took Natasha another 30 minutes to calm down. I helped a little bit, but she did a lot of the work to regulate herself. And then she passed out (went to sleep).

On Saturday she talked about being nervous. And this morning (Sunday) when she woke up she was nervous.

She did amazing job. And I think she finally believes me…. Believes that she can sing and should sing.